It's Right There!

To my male readers, this blog post is not a slight. Not at all. The truth is your brains just aren’t wired the same as female brains. It’s not your fault. And you have so many things you’re superior at, like typically having more strength. In fact, according to the American College of Sports Medicine, “Adult males are stronger, more powerful, and faster than females of similar age and training status.” 

Science shows men are superior in strength, power and speed, but I can unscientifically tell you men are generally unable to find objects directly in front of their face. Even when given clear direction to said object’s location. At my house, it typically goes like this: 

My Husband: Standing with pantry door open, staring at shelves). I thought you said we had another can of soup. 
Me: We do. 
My Husband: Nope, we don’t have any left. I don't see it. I've already looked twice.  
Me: Third shelf down, right hand side. 
My Husband: I already looked there. We’re out of soup. 
Me: Sighs. Walks to pantry. Reaches in and hands husband the can of soup. 
My Husband: I didn’t see it there. 
Me: Rolls eyes and mumbles “of course you didn’t” 

This isn’t a one-time occurrence. It happens all the time. It’s not always soup, of course. It can be any item, in any closet, shelf, drawer, cabinet. Men are just “object-blind”. That isn’t an actual term, I just made it up, but I believe it’s truly a thing. I believe women’s and men’s brains are just wired differently. Actually, I believed it so strongly that while writing this post I went in search of data to back up my beliefs (a/k/a I just googled it). Lo and behold, it’s true. 

According to the National Geographic website, there was a study by Brooklyn College that put young adults with normal vision through a battery of tests. The study found that men and women physically see things differently. It has something to do with neuron development in the visual cortex being boosted by masculine hormones.  

Apparently, this difference supports the so-called hunter-gatherer hypothesis, which argues that the sexes evolved distinct psychological abilities to fit their prehistoric roles. Our male predecessors could detect possible predators or prey from afar, making them successful hunters. While our female ancestors were better gatherers with their keen ability to recognize close-at-hand, static objects such as wild berries.  
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Although it seems like a stretch, it would explain why my husband can see a white-tailed buck running along the highway while driving 65 miles an hour but can’t find a flipping can of soup sitting motionless on a shelf in our pantry. For crying out loud, haven’t we evolved enough to move past the whole hunter vs. gatherer thing? I mean, c’mon vertical cortex neurons, get in the game. It’s been a whole lot of years since our hunter/gatherer days. We don’t need you to act this way anymore.  

Oh well, since I have a better chance of winning the lottery than influencing neurons in the male brain, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it. Besides, there could be worse things than hauling my ass off the couch to point out something right in front of my object-blind better half’s face. So, gals, continue to happily point out the object right in front of your man’s face. Men, appreciate those women in your lives who help you see what you can’t. Until next time, stay strong friends.